It's been a while.

I've been having a dream, that keeps repeating itself. I've been having it nearly every night for the last week or so.

I'm in America. I'm in a big american car, windows rolled down. sunglasses on, cool air on my face. I'm driving down a straight road, a highway, with fields either side of me. Its warm, and the view in front of me is slightly distorted from the heat. The road is so long, and all I can see is the horizon stretched out miles ahead of me. But i'm content with that. I'm happy to just keep on driving.
The radio is on and I hear a sweet old country song playing. Life is perfect.

I'm not unhappy with my life. I have a job. I have friends, and a girlfriend. I go out, play sports, socialise. I play in bands. I should be comfortable and settled with what I have.

But i'm not. The more time goes on the more I just feel like escaping. Its not an overwhelming urge. I don't feel in despair, I don't feel depressed, or feel the need to run away from anything. I'm just not entirely sure I want to be here.

Maybe I wouldn't be any happier in that other life. Its so easy to hold back from it. I know I would have to give up everything. My job. All my friends. Love. Comfort and security.

I'm not about to run off somewhere. I'm not going to be miserable if I can't. But I know that the longer I hold back from doing something big with my life, the more this is going to niggle away at me.